Choices
by Dark Satirist
Summary: Tag to 5x06. Sam worries about becoming Lucifer's vessel.


**Disclaimer: I do not own _Supernatural_ or any of its characters.**

**Author's Note: This is probably the weirdest of my tags so far... I'm not sure how much I like it because it's kind of random, but I couldn't think of anything else to write. Read and review and tell me what you think!!**

**Summary: Tag to 5x06. Sam worries about becoming Lucifer's vessel. **

**Choices**

**Chapter 1**

Sam was silent as they stowed their bags in the hotel room and got ready for bed. When Dean went to take a shower, Sam had sat down on one of the beds and had started channel surfing. When Dean had gotten out of the shower, Sam was still in the exact same position, with a vacant expression on his face. The channel was on some news story in Australia about a kid who had showed up randomly in the middle of a restaurant. No one had seen him come in. They showed news footage of the kid, a little boy who said his name was Jesse Turner.

"Looks like that mystery is solved," Dean commented reaching for the remote and turning off the TV. "I wonder if the angels watch CNN."

Sam didn't say anything. He just sat there with that same blank look on his face. Dean was fairly certain that his brother didn't know he was there. Or if he did, Sam was doing a damn good job of ignoring him.

"Sam?"

He laid a hand on his brother's shoulder, not expecting the violent jump Sam gave at the gentle contact. Dean instantly pulled his hand away, alarmed.

"Dude, it's okay," he said. "It's me, Dean."

Sam blinked and it was as though he were coming out of a deep sleep. He looked up at Dean in surprise. Dean wasn't all that surprised to find a self-deprecating look in his younger brother's eyes.

"Did you say something?" Sam asked somewhat guiltily.

"Are you okay?" Dean countered quietly. He crossed his arms and really studied his brother. He didn't like the haunted look he saw on Sam's face—it reminded him too much of what he had seen the week after Lucifer had risen and before Sam had taken a hiatus from hunting. Sam had been practically catatonic then. Sort of like now.

"No," Sam said his voice just as soft as Dean's. "You heard Castiel—I screwed up in a big way and no matter what I do, nothing is ever going to be good enough. I should do what he tried to do for Jesse—take myself out of the picture before I get dangerous."

"Sam," Dean began knowing where his brother was going with this conversation and hating it. "You are not going to kill yourself."

"Why not? I've already gone dark side once—who says I can't do it again?" Sam wanted to know. "You should have just killed me when you had the chance, Dean. Before Lucifer had walked free."

"You did _not_ go dark side, Sam," Dean said angrily. "You were just a little--."

"What? Are you seriously going to say confused?" Sam scoffed. "I wasn't confused, Dean. I knew exactly what I was doing and it was wrong. There's nothing I can do to change that."

"And no one's asking you to, Sammy," Dean pointed out. "There's no use harping about it—you're just wasting your breath."

"I just—I wish I could have made the right choice the way Jesse did," Sam murmured. "I wish I could have chosen you."

"We've been over this a thousand times before, Sam," Dean said. "I don't care about what happened anymore. And anyway, I thought you wanted to get over it yourself."

"I did. I _do_. It's just, after tonight, it's kind of hard to forget," Sam said looking away.

"Jesse made the right choice because of you, Sam," Dean said honestly. "If it weren't for you, he probably would have gone with that demon skank inside of his mother. You saved the world tonight."

"He would have made the right choice anyway," Sam argued.

"Would he? Because from where I was standing, that could have easily gone either way," Dean retorted. "If it hadn't been for you, we probably would have ended up having to kill the kid. But we didn't because of _you_."

Sam was quiet for a moment. Then, "Do you think he's happy?"

"He's in Australia, surrounded by hot girls," Dean snorted. "Of course he's happy. Wouldn't you be?"

"I would if I knew that all of this was over," Sam replied leaning back against his pillows. "I'm tired of all this, Dean."

"I know you are, Sammy," Dean said quietly as he followed Sam's suit and lay down as well. "I am too. But you said it yourself, once you're in this fight, you're in it till the end. There's no avoiding it and there's no running from it. God knows we've tried."

"God," Sam said with a snort. "Do you think he's really out there?"

"At this point, Sam, I really don't know what to believe," Dean murmured.

"You do realize that I could have just as easily become that danger Castiel was talking about tonight," Sam said his voice a whisper. "That I could still become that."

"No, you can't," Dean said rolling his eyes even though Sam couldn't see him. "You have about as much chance as destroying heaven as I do of becoming president of the United States."

"Really, Dean? Then you must have a pretty good chance of becoming president," Sam said. The self-deprecating voice was back.

"Are you seriously worried about becoming Lucifer's vessel?" Dean demanded.

"Aren't you?" Sam countered.

"No," Dean lied bluntly. The images from his time-jump into the future were still way too vivid in his head, but he couldn't let Sam know that. "And you shouldn't be either."

"Why not?" Sam inquired. "You told me yourself—I let Lucifer in three years from now in Detroit."

"That was because I said _no_ to you, Sammy," Dean reminded him. "And we fixed that. You are not going to say yes to Lucifer."

There was a long pause and then Dean added hesitantly, "Are you?"

"No, God no," Sam said instantly.

"Then you shouldn't be worried," Dean said. "Things are going to be okay, Sam."

"We should really work on the whole not lying to each other thing," Sam muttered. "Things are going to Hell, literally."

"Oh, quit being emo. You're just mad because you're not in Australia and that Jesse kid is," Dean said rolling his eyes again.

"Yeah, that's definitely it," Sam said sarcastically. "It has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that the world is going to end and you and I are the top two contenders for 'Angel Vessel of the Year' award."

"Bitch."

"Jerk."

There was a few moments pause.

"You aren't going to become Lucifer's vessel, Sammy," Dean said quietly. "You said it yourself, you always have a choice."

"I know," Sam said just as quietly. "But I've been known to choose wrongly before."


End file.
